a special feature from Kay Ziplow & Leslie Zinberg, founders
In a flash of time, our children have grown up right before our eyes and see them now as adults with their own lives to lead. As parents we continue to be proud of the adults they have turned into and will always be there to support them. That’s a parent’s common vow.
Knowing they have their own life experiences (thankfully) we find they still include us in their lives as they progress. However, don’t you find yourself in a quandary sometimes? How do we know when to step back and not attempt to influence their lives as they move forward? We do sometimes wonder, however, how much we should still be trying to influence their lives. Do they want our advice? Do our “suggestions” sound like a nagging mom? Should we share our experiences or let them make their own mistakes? Hopefully, we are doing a little of each — it’s tough to avoid either. Finding a balance and knowing your parameters is a difficult exercise for all.
So, we decided to share and jot down a few things we want to tell our adult children — great advice they need to hear- peppered with a tongue in cheek attitude towards life’s bumps and grinds. So, listen up, guys. . . . . .
1. Be kind.
It doesn’t take money. It doesn’t take time. There’s usually a choice — be kind, ignore the person/situation who is wrapped up in minutia. Don’t ever be mean; karma will come back to bite you tenfold. Sometimes you can ignore them without being mean. Mostly, be kind. It’s the right thing to do.
2. Don’t Overdress
Your personal appearance is a lasting impression. If you think you need to dress up, then dress up. It’s always better to overdress for a situation than show up looking like a bum. (Don’t be smart, we’re not talking about a tux.)
3. Don’t settle.
We don’t see millennials settling for things that wouldn’t make them happy, and we’re all for that — most of the time. If you hate your job, get another one. If you don’t like where you live, move. You’re not a tree. If you need to get something off your chest, start moving your lips and communicate. Don’t play a sad tune on the violin.
4. Save some money.
Pay yourself first and then put it away. Don’t get through the month and then put away whatever you might have left and get caught with indulgences you know you shouldn’t have executed. Remember, you may not have anything left. Put it away first. Added simple pleasure: and doing so: it adds up quickly.
5. Never fill out your recipient’s email address on your email until you’re ready to send it.
Do you know how many emails get sent accidentally? Well, we can’t quote the statistics, but it’s a lot. Don’t be one of them – it could have disastrous results. The last thing you ever want to do is caught saying something meant for the wrong person.
6. Keep an open mind.
Okay, we’re not kidding here. Know that your actions, reactions, and the way you handle situations create your personal and individual platform. Don’t have behavior or ideologies that are so predictable no one wants to speak with you in conversation.
7. Our simple rule of “the more you. . .”.
You know, the more vegetables you eat, the healthier you will feel! Life is all about good habits. The more you practice your good habits, the more they become your good habits for life. (Unfortunately, this can apply to bad habits too, so watch yourself. . . repeating a bad habit is not ok).
8. Mindfulness.
This is pretty much the key to everything. Be mindful of your decisions and actions. Take personal responsibility. Don’t get crazy with impulsive or spur-of-the-moment decisions. Yes, a little spontaneity is good. It’s fun. Rushing into important decisions, not so much.
9. Love your siblings.
If you are lucky and have brothers or sister – acknowledge and be grateful even when you don’t see eye to eye. When you find yourself not ‘liking’ them, at the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for you. While you might be fortunate enough to have some true friends; it still doesn’t compare to the unconditional love of family. Do this until the day you leave this earth, or life will be lonely.
